Wednesday, January 22, 2014

When the door slams

That one mile by two mile box I serve in as a missionary.
And the multiple appointments that cancel.
And the icy roads we walk on.
People that don't follow through.
And the phone calls that don't return.
I remember I live in the Mormon Capital of the world,
of course everyone has heard this message before.

And then Heavenly Father sends me a gentle reminder 
of who is in charge.

That there is a bigger picture,
that goes far beyond what I want,
 and the horizon is farther than I can see.

So I ask myself how I can change?

I can change me.

And if the door slams twenty times in a row, in my face, and I only found one person today that would actually listen to my message.To me that is progress, because that's who I was supposed to find. And I find joy in helping that one person.

When "the door of life" slams in your face", and you face your challenges and your doubts, and your concerns surface, when disappointment arises within yourself or towards another.

I don't believe in a God that asks to pretend to be true to the faith that we don't have, but the faith that we do have, and "hold to the ground we have already won...even if that ground is limited..." (see more via Elder Holland) "Sometimes we act as if an honest declaration of doubt is a higher manifestation of moral courage than is an honest declaration of faith. It is not!"

We work from what we do know, and we work from there. And in that process, we can help others.

The Savior said:
 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. 
-Matthew 10:39

I can't change the world,
But perhaps I can inspire one.
And in the process of these experiences,
He shapes Me.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for writing this down. I didn't serve a mission where I was called apart from my family. My family IS my mission. Sometimes, the door gets slammed in my face. Sometimes, the ones I love think they already know what I am going to say. Sometimes, its hard...okay...mostly (right now) it's hard because I want it for all of us so badly. But, just as you said, I can change ME. I can get closer to HIM.